December 2011
1 post
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
6 posts
1 tag
Have you seen this cat? - Imgur →
1 tag
June 2011
3 posts
I have a device which emits electromagnetic radiation. It has the ability to record my voice in real time, and use that information to create minuscule fluctuations in the electromagnetic emissions, as well as the ability to detect similar minute fluctuations and decode voice recordings which someone else is sending to me. In fact, I’m writing this message with it right now. It also fits in...
May 2011
15 posts
L2 read
Customer: There's an error on my phone, so I turned it off.
Me: Ok, what's the error message on the screen?
Customer: It says "Updating" or something like that.
Me: You mean "Updating code, do not turn off" like it said in the email we sent you yesterday about the phones being updated?
Customer: yeah, that was it.
Me: and you turned it off, huh?
Customer: Was that wrong?
Planking: archastro's take
Lie flat on your face in front of landmark.
Get someone to take a picture of you.
Upload to Facebook.
Wait for inevitable “herp derp what is this I don’t even” replies.
Trollface.
See that my Fiancée left her phone at home.
Send her an SMS asking if she wants me to bring it to her at work.
Hear her phone receive an SMS.
Place the palm of my hand on my face.
Me: Hmm. I just washed my hands with dish soap, and I don't think I rinsed them enough. Feels like there's still some soap on them.
Brain: you should stick one of your fingers in your eye!
Me: what?
Brain: if your eye starts stinging, you'll know there's still soap on your hands!
Me: or I could just rinse them again.
Brain: I guess that could work too.
Family Feud
Me: Hey, your ancestors murdered my ancestors
Jacqui: Really?
Me: Yeah, the Campbells were responsible for the Glencoe massacre, where the MacDonalds were murdered.
Jacqui: Well, the Campbells murdered damn near everyone. They were ruthless. But what does the murder of MacDonalds have to do with your family? You're a Henderson.
Me: The Hendersons were the bodyguards of the MacDonald chief.
Jacqui: Did a shit job, then.
Me: :O
April 2011
30 posts
